"GIVE JESUS REPORT" EDITION · Turn your volume up. On iPhone, flip the silent switch off or the beeps stay silent. Parody training game; fictional patients based on common ED presentations (AHA ACLS, SEP-1, stroke/STEMI time goals). Not medical advice.
🛏 Tap a room chip at the top: the cart rolls to that bed. Each patient has a stability bar.
▸ Slide out the CART tab (left edge): an Epic-style chart. Orders (acknowledge, then ▶ Do), MAR (scan & give meds), Results, ED Narrator (document your care: if it wasn't charted, it wasn't done), Track Board and Talk (everything everyone said).
⏱ 1 game hour = 6 real minutes. Time goals count: door-to-EKG ≤10 min, sepsis antibiotics ≤60 min, stroke door-to-CT ≤25 min. Codes freeze everyone else.
📋 Read the chart: allergies and home meds matter. The doctor's orders appear a few seconds after arrival.
Wrong move? The game lets you. Cultures before antibiotics. Check the K before insulin. No nitro with sildenafil.
🕑 Some patients crash fast, some drift slowly. Ignore one long enough and they code or get boarded with an RL (complaint).
🟥 Red Shirt walks you through the next step or undoes a mistake. 💉 Super CNA grabs IVs, labs and cultures instantly… with a tiny chance of getting you both written up.